Last updated on October 6, 2020
In my last job teaching in Prague, one of our norms as a staff was assume good intentions. Although my preference is to make no assumptions at all (as learned in CBT), I believe it’s good advice.
I try to practice positive self talk to stay even-keeled. Perhaps it means I have some blind spots and I’m sometimes oblivious to what those around me really think. But here’s the thing, it’s taken me a long time to learn that I’m not responsible for what people think of me. Everyone’s opinion mattered so much to me. I always tried to do what people expected of me, the right thing. I wanted to change and control what critical people thought of me but then found out that their new story was still biased, incomplete. I’ve realized that someone else’s opinion of me is due to the story they themselves, what they believe about me. Only they have the power to change that story. And people tend to focus and find evidence to support their story, whatever it may be.
Wouldn’t we all create happier, less hurtful stories if we assume good intentions?
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