ever watchful, even as a child

Nine years ago, I moved overseas. It was my first time living alone, the first time being more than an hour from family for more than a few days. Being an introvert by nature, with a tendency towards shyness, leaving alone was no hardship. All my life, I’ve had a few close friends, people who I trust and who trust me. As I’ve lived in each place, I’ve met lots of people. Some I’ve considered friends, and others family. Now I have family of my heart around the world: in India, China, Israel, Nepal, Mauritania, Uzbekistan, St. Lucia, Canada, Japan, Mozambique, Sudan, etc.

Last week, I made a TED Talks style presentation to my students about what matters. I talked about the importance of real connections, and the challenges of building them. I talked of choice, purpose and effort, dedication, caring and commitment and how all of those come into effect when the world is your “home” and your “family” is spread out. I showed screenshots of conversations in Twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp, iMessage, Skype and expressed the challenges of maintaining meaningful relationships despite long distances.

All the world continues to flatten, and as more and more of us develop a third culture, building real relationships that transcend time and distance is of even greater importance, yet more challenging. When I talk of real relationships, I mean those that stir the heart, engage the mind, affect your life. How do you do it?

hammam doorway

The hammam was obvious because of the bright colors used for the doorway. I asked two men on the street if it was for women and they said yes. I entered. The presence of women confirmed that I’d found the correct place. I paid about 620 dinar for scrubbing, hair washing, and a new scrubbing mitt and was told to bring my things back to the lady, who I’d paid, for safekeeping. When ready, I was lead into the sauna and given my supplies. I scrubbed myself and then was bright to a marble top where I was scrubbed some more and my hair was quickly washed. Out of my three hammam experiences, the other two having been in Istanbul and Petra, this was the least vigorous!!

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Day 2:
I woke up later than I’d expected (9am). After a satisfying hotel breakfast, I took off exploring in the rain. I took a taxi to Carthage Hannibal and got dropped off at an obscure museum. I stayed a while talking to the guard before heading off in search of an umbrella. Found no umbrella but came across the Antonine baths. Although the baths are in ruins, the scale is incredible and gives you an idea of the grandeur of the civilization. Walking some more, I came across the Roman amphitheater. It was with pleasure that I learned that my 9 dinar ticket gave me access to all the Roman and Punic ruins. I walked some more hoping to discover the museum. Instead I saw a sign for Sidi bou said and headed off in that direction. None of this was as direct as it seemed as I had to frequently stop to shelter from the rain. One such occasion coincided with my hunger for lunch. I got a shrimp wrap at a roadside cafe where I sat and read my book for a while. As I continued to walk around Sidi bou said, I came across the train station and saw two other foreigners heading there. I heard them ask for a ticket for Tunis and decided to head there as well, having had enough of the rain.

I got back to Tunis about 4. It started to hail as I walked to the hotel so I had to stop for shelter.

My last adventure for the day was to go shopping for boots. I went to Zara, United Colors of Benetton and Aldo but found nothing wonderful. I also bought some date gifts and dates for myself. I was tempted to get some tahini as well by decided to look for it in Mauritania.

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Day 3

I woke up at 6 this morning to pack and do the final sightseeing. By 7, I was on my way to Tunis Marine to get the train to Sidi bou said. Unfortunately, I did not realize that the train terminated at Catharge Prinipale. A lady tried to tell me this but I saw other Tunisians stay on the train and decided to ignore her. Well, she was right. Since it was already 8 and the museum opened at 8:30, I decided to go back the one stop to Carthage Hannibal. I enjoyed the views of the stormy sunset and the views of Carthage. However the museum did nothing for me. Upon entry, the smell of cigarette smoke was strong and there were ceveral Tunisian hanging out and loudly chatting on the ground floor. Since I’m not much into history and know nothing of Roman history, I walked though the museum for 15 minutes because the guidebooks said it was worth a visit. I should have trusted my own interests.

The deconsecrated Cathedral of St. Louis, now called Acropolium, was interesting to visit with it’s splendid facade. I enjoyed going up to the first floor. I tried to go higher but the door at the end was closed. There was some renovation going in but no one paid me any mind and I had the run of the place to myself.

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Return to Sidi bou said
The previous day, I’d stayed on the main drag and hadn’t found any of the cafes mentioned in the guide books so off I went again. After walking around the hill for some time, I was about to give up the search when I decided to go 200 more meters. Payoff!! There was the pedestrian only path that I’d read about. Insisting on taking the path less travelled (also called the longer path and sometimes the wrong path) off I went in the wrong direction of two possible options. It felt a bit like the road to nowhere but I gave myself 5 more minutes of walking. Payoff!! There were the (few brave) tourists. I followed the small group up the path and came across Cafe Nattes which I’d read about. Confirmation that I was on the right path. I continued on until I got to a high point wih good views of the marina. At that point, I was tired of traversing the slippery cobble street and headed back. There were people off to the side taking pics so went to see what the fuss was about . There was Cafe les Delices of the famous mint tea. Unfortunately thy were out of mint tea but the pigeon (pine) tea with a mint leaf inside and an almond croissant while watching the water, the blue and white scenery and writing this post were perfect. The tea was delicious with lots of sugar and lovely as an authentic experience although I will stick to less sugar at home. I almost don’t feel ripped of for the 8200 dinars that i was (over)charged. This is what happens when you visit cafes recommended in guide books ..

Now that this (mostly) wonderful interlude is over, it’s almost time to head back down the hill and to Tunis for my hammam adventure :d

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It took us about 12 hours to drive each way, with the bus stopping every two hours for the drivers to switch/break, and for us to use the facilities.

I spent the two days working with the students and my colleagues to dig muck from gutters. We removed lots of tiles, household dishes, mud, cinder blocks, broken glass and other debris from the gutters. Some students and teachers were also involved in cleaning a temple on the first day.

On our way back to Nagoya, we drove through areas that were devastated by the tsunami. You can tell how high the wave was by looking at the brown cedar trees that are dying as a result of the sea water. The sea line has changed in some areas. There are buildings on their side and a bus on the roof of a hospital. Apparently the community is discussing whether to keep some of the wreckage to show respect for the life lost and damage sustained. Although a lot of the rubble has been cleaned up or at least sorted into piles, one is struck by the intensity of the devastation and the continued desolation. Of course, it would be considered inauspicious to rebuild in many of those spots. The whole situation defies imagination. I am happy that I got a chance to help, even a little, but am overwhelmed by the amount of reconstruction that needs to be done, and by thoughts of the casualties suffered from the March 11 tragedy.

The scene was anything but quiet because it was the weekend of the Asuke Matsuri. I still enjoyed the visit (despite the crowds) but look forward to going back to enjoy the fall colours. It took about an hour to get to Korankei there through a scenic route of curves and dips. It was a perfect day with blue skies, a light breeze , warm and sunny.

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Candle 3 at St. Mark

2011 Birthday Cake

It’s been many years since I celebrated a birthday with a group larger than 2-3 people. I always find it awkward about who to invite, how to invite them, where to go, and all of those logistics since my apartment cannot handle a party. This year, about 12 of us went to Saint Marc’s for dinner. The best part of the day is that I got to have three birthday cakes, and blow out candles three times (although 2x was on the same cake). I can’t decide if the life piano player playing happy birthday was very elegant or odd. Thanks to those who made this evening happen and who celebrated with me. And before you ask, no I don’t feel any older than I did yesterday .

TOKYO SLO-MODE from alex lee on Vimeo.

My favorite spot in Nara was the Kasuga Grand Shrine with it’s lamps of many materials and colours. The combination of the lamps flanking the entrances and the wisteria above gave the place a mystical feeling. I felt obligated to get my fortune (especially since they were available in English). Apparently, I’m going to have a year of great good luck! I’m expecting it to start any moment now.

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